the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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