I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What a dumb baby whore.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
