so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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