Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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