yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
