Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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