She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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