So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
