a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
