You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
