I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
