Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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