drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
