I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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