You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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