well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
