Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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