I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
