So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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