You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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