Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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