it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
