Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize