worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
