just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
