my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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