I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want to make out with him forever
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
