I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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