What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I don't think brook has ever known best
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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