I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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