Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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