I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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