i permit you to call me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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