I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize