I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
