She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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