I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
