"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
