I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
