the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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