Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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