i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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