Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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