Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
