her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You brought string cheese to the strip club
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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