Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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