The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
