Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
