sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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