Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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