I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
