hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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