I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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