I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
