i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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